5 Gentle Ways to Prep Your Kids for Appointments
As adults we are required to hold it together and not be babies when we go in for appointments but I would be absolutely lying if I said I didn’t still get nervous, as a million questions or get anxiety every time I have to see a medical professional. Except when I’m being rushed to the ER because then I’m usually over the pain I’m in and could care less, JUST FIX ME.
As a child Filipino child in the 90’s; we were not allowed to make a scene, cry under any circumstance, complain, show anxiety or fear or question anything. Any anxieties I got as a child (and there were a lot considering the abuse I had endured at the dentist for most of my childhood, that’s a story for another time) were often silenced. I was usually told to stop or I’d get it when we got home. So I was taught to tuck away my anxieties and fears. To silence myself and trust the people with the sharp objects even though my nervous system was fighting against me.
But because of that, I know what NOT to do with my own kids.
Normalize The Feelings That Come up
Allowing them to express their concerns and questions and answering them to the best of my ability. Assuring them what’s to be done at this appointment and that I’ll be there right next to them holding their hand. My oldest has a habit of getting anxious but does so well during the appointment and after she’s completely fine. But the next time, it’s the same cycle again and I get it. It’s hard as a kid and not knowing 100% what’s happening because you’re not the one in control of your appointments.
Allowing them to express their anxieties and worries prior to the appointment as many times as they need to does help when it comes time to go.
Doing a Walk Through
What prompted this blog post was my oldest has lost 3 of her baby teeth and I set an appointment for her to get them checked, just to make sure everything was all good. She asked me what would happen and to the best of my ability I explained that they’ll just be checking the open spots, if the tooth came out cleanly and to check the 2 adult teeth that have already grown in. That it’s always good to check even if you think everything is all good, because when it comes to dental health it can be tricky.
It also helps to ask the dental office yourself while setting the appointment what they’re due for and what will be done this time around (for your peace of mind, for their peace of mind and for your bank account’s peace of… well, you know).
Bring a Comfort Item
My kid is in the “bring stuffies with her” era and usually it’s to mundane things like the grocery store, a Target run, a drive to the post office. Just random little things. But if they make her feel safer and much more comfort, then who am I to deny that? Granted my OCD is constantly yelling at me for allowing the stuffie to leave the house and “how do you plan on washing/cleaning this stuffie when you get home” the whole time but hey, for one day, my OCD can shove it.
Allow them to bring an item of comfort. And no, a tablet or an iPad is not considered a comfort item and it’ll just get in the way of the exam. I’m already expecting her to ask right before the leave the house.
Aftercare is Also Important
Saying “see that wasn’t so bad” emotionally isn’t very helpful. It almost feels dismissive. Like “oh see, you were overreacting over nothing”. I prefer to tell them after we leave the office “you did so good, I’m so proud of you!” it leaves a lasting impression on their experience and the joy on their faces from the recognition is priceless.
I also tend to ask “what was the part you were most worried about and how did it turn out.” in hopes that they remember and retain their answer for the next visit and in hopes it helps calm them for the next time.
If this helped you or if you have any tips (or stories you want to share) of your own, please feel free to share them below!
